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January 21st, 2008

11:19 am - I'm all-around awesome, if I do say so myself. I've probably proofread and edited "Danielle's Autopsy Table," six times now. That's not an easy task, considering it's 5,789 words and I typed it between 10pm and 3:30 in the morning. Someone was even considerate enough to point out that it had a few typos on Fictionpress. Thanks, buddy. At least they still liked it. I know I do. It rules. This one's going up on the fridge... if I have a magnet strong enough to hold it. In other news of my successes, it's 11:24am, and so far I've managed to go all morning on only a can of Slim Fast. It may be because I'm tired and distracted, but I still count it as a win. I just have to make it 36 more minutes until lunch and I'm gold. Then I have to do it every day... from now on. Hm. I was thinking, if I ever manage to lose weight, I should write a book about how I did it. Any book about weight loss or diet plans is automatically a bestseller nowadays. I can make up some kind of diet that involves only eating foods that are orange, or something: Carrots, oranges, Tang, macaroni and cheese, sweet potatoes, that orange craft cheese food... Why not? I can call it, "Orange You Glad You Lost the Weight?" ...OMG!! THAT'S AWESOME!! Jen, you've done it again. Copyright 2008 Jen Heller Meservey. Now I just need some fake scientist to back up my claims that this diet is effective. "According to dietician Dr. J.S. Bledsoe, the beta-carotene that produces the orange pigment naturally stimulates the body's metabolism," or some crap. It's also good for your eyes. That's what my grandmom used to tell me to get me to eat my carrots. Guess what? I'm practically blind now, carrots notwithstanding. Thanks, grandmom. I just love "notwithstanding." It's such a fun word, isn't it? I'm clearly in a good mood today. It's always nice to finish something. I'm like, "Oh yeah! I don't have to work on that anymore! SWEET!" Then there's still "Home by the Sea." *sigh* Soooooo long. It took me over five hours to type up "Danielle's Autopsy Table," I can only imagine how long it will take me to type "Home by the Sea." It's not even finished yet and already I'm dreading it. I've seriously considered paying someone on Craigslist to do it for me. Maybe I can do a barter and make them a web site. I'd rather build a web site than type this story. Wow. I've just realized why I've never written a novel: It takes too long. It's such a massive undertaking. Not only do you have to write the damn thing, then you have to proofread it, over and over again. Dude, I HATE reading. It hurts my eyes. Can you imagine having to read the same book over and over again, and pay attention enough to check for spelling and grammar mistakes? It had better be really really good. I hate massive undertakings. That's why I love short stories, for reading and writing. Short stories aren't appreciated enough. I'm bringing short stories back, ya'll. Here's that link again, if you missed it last time: www.fictionpress.com/s/2465011/1 By the way, Chris read it and didn't get violently ill, so it must not be that disturbing. I love that the emoticon for "accomplished" is writing. :D Current Location: The Orange Mess Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Misfits

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