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February 25th, 2008

09:38 am - Highly cultured text message conversation between me and my sister, Lisa ME:  I don't know how anyone liked 1984 it was so boring. Nothing happened. I had more fun in the real 1984 when I was 1. LISA:  Hahah i wouldve too. The 80s were a good decade that guy should shut up ME:  Yeah he wrote it in 1948 and he was way off. LISA:  Oh man hes dumb Current Location: Boredsville Current Mood: tired Current Music: Ramones

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February 24th, 2008

10:09 pm - Best Spam Ever I received this e-mail today. It is by far the best spam message ever... HELLO BUYER, WE ARE GERMAN NIGHT CLUB COMPANY BASED IN PHILLIPINES WE ENGAGE IN PRODUCING SEX MOVIES OTHER WISE KNOWN AS BLUE FILM,WE ALSO ENGAGE IN IMPORTING COCAINE FROM COLOMBIA,RIGHT NOW WE HAVE 10KG BAG COCAINE TO BE SOLD AT THE RATE OF200.000 USD$, IF U ARE INTRESTED TO BUY WE WILL WANT YOU TO GET BACK TO US. PLEASE NOT WHEN THIS PRODUCT IS RETAIL YOU GONNA MAKE PROFIT OF 300.000 USD$,BECAUSE IT HAS ALREADY BEING WEIGH IN THE SCALE BEFORE WE EXPORT IT, ALSO BECAREFUL OF HOW YOU MAKE USE OF IT, COS IT IS VERY ACTIVE AND GREY IN COLOUR IS THE MOST EXPENSIVE COCAINE IN THE MARKET SO FAR ETC. MR.LUCAS DON, GENERAL MANAGER. KINDLY REPLY TO THE SHIPPING AGENT MR.MARK SHIPPER,DO NOT REAPLY TO THE REDIFF MAIL BECAUSE IT HAS A LITTLE TECHNICAL PROBLEM ETC.        REAPLY TO MARK SHIPPER THE SHIPPING AGENT; shippermark@yahoo.com Current Location: Home Current Mood: amused Current Music: Buddy Holly

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February 14th, 2008

10:04 am - Valentine's Day Massacre I had a long, annoying day yesterday full of filing and paper cuts. Then I checked my e-mail and found out I didn't get the job I interviewed for last week that I really really wanted because they "decided to go in a different direction." What bull crap. I'd almost prefer they didn't e-mail me at all than give me a cop out like that. Needless to say I fell into a black pit of despair and started having the usual depressing thoughts I do at times like these: I have no career and no prospects, I'm squandering my talents at a pointless menial office job that a trained monkey could do, I've made a balls of my whole life and the only thing I did right was get married, etc. etc. I started thinking about the lyrics to "Bastards of Young..." "God, what a mess On the ladder of success Where you take one step and miss the whole first rung Dreams unfulfilled Graduate unskilled It beats picking cotton and waiting to be forgotten" You know how it is. So naturally I went out and bought a ton of junk food: 2 bags of Reese's Pieces, 1 bag of chocolate covered pretzels, 1 bag of barbecue chips, and for dinner some kind of microwave Taco Bell meal. It took all my will power to put back the $2 Ghirardelli caramel chocolate bar to save some cash. I then proceeded to go home and eat all of it (save a few Pieces), while watching re-runs of Law and Order and Ghost Hunters. The only good part of the evening was when Chris came home with two dozen pink roses and made shells and cheese and chai for me. Then we watched The Simpsons until I fell asleep on the couch. Today I feel like total and utter crap and I never even want to look at another piece of food again. I'm completely exhausted and my right eyelid is twitching like crazy. It's a miracle I got out of bed this morning and didn't call out sick again. It's an even greater miracle I made it to the train station on time. It's probably because I took like a thirty second shower, because that's all the hot water I'll get at 6:45am these days. So now it's back to the drawing board as far as my job goes. I wanted that job so badly I wanted to jump in front of a train when I found out I didn't get it. I just don't know what to do now. I'm not going to get another opportunity like that with no experience and no degree, and damnit, I'M NOT GOING BACK TO SCHOOL AGAIN!! Screw that. I'm just so sick and tired of working at these lame jobs doing busy work that a monkey could do. I want a job that only a person could do; that only I could do with my specific talents and skills. I mean, I have talents and skills but I can't USE them. Nobody will let me USE them. It's like they don't believe me. What do I have to do to convince them? Just ONCE I'd like to have a job that means something to me, not one that I don't give a flying crap about and I'm just working hard enough at not to get fired. It's so ridiculous. I'm stuck in a freakin hole. I need like a career counselor or something. Do they cost money? Because I don't even know what I want to DO. One day I'll be all hyped up about one job I think I can get, then the next I'll be like nah that's too much trouble. I mean, I've researched everything and taken classes on some things. No phrase defines me better than: "Jack of all trades, master of none." I'm pretty good at a lot of things, but I haven't found that one area that I really want to concentrate on and excel in. I can't even narrow it down to two areas. Next week it'll be something different than it is this week. I just wish I could make up my mind. I really don't know what I'm going to do next. I'm thinking only in the short term at this point. I'm going to work today, go home, make the last page of Linda Wink's web site, then go to the Olive Garden with Chris. Beyond that, I have no clue whatsoever. But it's Valentine's Day, so I'm going to try and forget all that for a little bit. This morning I put on a big red sweater, not because it's Valentine's Day, but because it was the only clean sweater left in my closet. So I felt like a complete dork coming in today in holiday colors. It's like donning red and green on Christmas or orange and black on Halloween. I feel like some lame elementary school teacher or something. Luckily, I'm not the only one. In fact, practically every woman at the office seems to be wearing some shade of red today. If I hadn't worn red, I think I would have felt awkward. Weird. Current Location: In a deep ditch I dug myself Current Mood: crappy Current Music: Dinosaur Jr

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February 8th, 2008

09:27 am - It's Like Boo Is it possible to score a job solely by looking cute? If so, there may be a chance for me, because I definitely looked cute at my interview yesterday. How I sounded was a different story. I firmly believe all job interviews should be conducted via e-mail... At least for me. I'm a much better writer than I am a talker, and I was interviewing for a job as a copywriter. It stands to reason I should do it in writing. Oh, man. I was so nervous I'm only half sure everything I said was coherent. They totally caught me off guard, and that's never a good thing. They asked me to come up with stuff right there on the spot, like an article for some hypothetical real estate company. Give me twenty minutes and a pencil and I'll have something killer for you, but ask me to talk about it, and all you'll get is a rambling, confused mess. I said something about home decorating, which was probably a good idea.. I think. Personally, I feel I should get points just for coming up with SOMETHING in two seconds like that. I mean, how many people could do that? The good thing was, I was sort of getting into it, my whole home decorating article idea. I was like, "Decorate your room in orange!" and talking about using accessories and wallpaper. Maybe they could tell I was excited, I don't know. I always feel like everyone can tell I'm nervous, but everybody tells me they can't. Like, after I play shows I'm always like, "omg! I was so nervous!" And people go, "Really? No way!" I must hide it well, thank God. I guess that's what happens when you're nervous every second of every day, you get a lot of experience hiding it. It's a good skill to have for job interviews. At least I was slightly less awkward than the woman interviewing me. She opened with a story about how some lady threw up on the L last week. I can see why they need help coming up with content. Ugh I really want this job. It would be so COOL to do something I actually cared about. It feels kind of weird, interviewing for a job that involves creative thought and talent. I'm so used to the menial, boring jobs that anyone can do. It's a little scary, actually, broadening my horizons, doing something I'll actually have to think about it. I know I can do it, it's just like... boo. Did I mention they have a ping pong table in the office? A PING PONG TABLE!! And the guy interviewing me was wearing jeans and sneakers. I want to wear jeans and sneakers to work! Wow. I'm going to be so on edge all next week until I find out if I got the job. The only down side I can see, is that the place is a bit of a hike from Suburban Station... Oh yeah, and I hate Suburban Station. It's so confusing. I'm pretty sure I can get off at Market East and take the subway, but.. that's the subway. *shudder* Yes, yes, I know, thousands of people take the subway every day, but hey, I'm from the suburbs, give me a break. At least doing all that walking will help me lose weight.. I hope. Speaking of weight, I weighed myself at my parents' house on Wednesday and I was *drum roll* 139 pounds. ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-NINE POUNDS!! I'm a blimp! Thank goodness I stopped taking Advair, I was ballooning out of control. I put on my outfit for my interview yesterday and I was practically busting out of it. I'm a beached whale. I'm disgusted with myself. So now more than ever I'm trying to eat better. I'm no longer having double breakfasts and double dinners and snacking uncontrollably throughout the day. I'm actually making a conscious effort to eat less. Whenever I want to scarf down an entire box of Girl Scout cookies, I just have to remember the numbers on my parents' scale: 1-3-9. Current Location: Stresstown Current Mood: stressed Current Music: Elvis Costello

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February 1st, 2008

09:54 am - Glamorous Rock Star Life My Friday Morning: 1:30am - Got home from hosting open mic at Dr. Watson's. 2:00am - Went to bed. 6:34am - Got out of bed; fell asleep sitting up on the living room floor during Percy Love Fest. 6:45am - Took a shower; water turned freezing cold halfway through. 7:00am - Attempted to rinse the conditioner out of my hair by hanging my head upside-down in the tub and running it under the tap; it didn't all come out. 7:33am - Hurried outside in the rain to catch my train; almost had an asthma attack. 7:35am - Made it to the train station; realized my umbrella was broken and the train was running late. 8:03am - Saw a woman handing out Starbucks samples in The Gallery and prayed they were lattes; found out they were pieces of cake; took one anyway. 8:17am - Got to work two minutes late; realized the cap had fallen off of my inhaler somewhere between Glenside and Center City. 8:20am - Rushed to put my makeup on; screwed it up. 8:35am - Went to the Hearth to buy breakfast; got lukewarm oatmeal and freezer-burned milk. 9:00am - Boss hinted that I should be doing work instead of checking my facebook. 9:20am - Received an e-mail from Tax Cut saying my tax return was rejected. Nice. It's all good, though, because it's Friday. Current Location: Where? Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Paul Westerberg

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January 29th, 2008

10:32 am - Frappuccino Hangover I can't get over how great this L'Oreal QuickStick makeup is. I put it on with a little powder yesterday morning at like 8:40, worked all day, came home at quarter to five and it still looked good. I didn't even have to touch it up before practice last night, I just put on a little more powder. When I came home from practice at 10:30, it STILL looked good. OMG! Where has this stuff been all my life?? Also, I love this Dove gentle exfoliating cleanser I've been using. I think one of my problems is that I haven't been exfoliating since I saw "Kevin" the "dermatologist." I didn't want to inflame my face anymore, so I've been using some gentle cleansing crap that doesn't do anything. This stuff exfoliates and moisturizes in the same go, and I think it's really helping my makeup to stay on and not get all gunky or oily or flaky, or anything, like it usually does after ten minutes. OK, so I've got a makeup, a cleanser, and a moisturizer that work, but I still have acne. Three out of four ain't bad. My appointment's two Mondays from now. Today I want to concentrate on my cuticles. They're a disgrace. They scream, "I've never had a professional manicure in my life." Plus, they hurt. People on the Internet rave about this Burt's Bees lemony stuff, so I'm going to pick some up after work. Wow, I used to be really low maintenance. So last night Chris brought us home Frappuccinos, and mine made me really hyper. I hadn't had one in a long time, so it had this renewed effect on me. Today it's having a renewed after effect. Still, I know what I'm getting for the show on Thursday. I finally went skiing with my dad and my sisters on Sunday, which ruled. We definitely have to go again. I want to go like, once a month when it's cold out. I've gotta buy new skis because one of my ski boots mysteriously broke in my parents' attic and my dad threw them out. He swears I broke them last time I was skiing, like two years ago. Sure, try to pull one over on Jen, she's got a bad memory. Psssh! Lisa and I were talking about how nobody believes us that we like to ski, and I found out she also likes rock climbing, so I'm totally planning a trip to Go Vertical for us. We can do that once a month when it's not cold out. I hadn't skied in two years, but it's been even longer since I've climbed, so that should be interesting. I sent in a resume the other day for a copywriting job. They said "no experience necessary, will train," so I might actually have a chance of getting it. I mean, I have SOME experience. They're looking for someone to write web content for SEO, and I've written plenty of web content, not to mention tons of promos for my band, and some stuff for Genesis. Too bad I didn't put together a portfolio. Guess I should start now. It really sounds like something I'd like to do, the only problem is there are like three copywriter positions available in all of the Philadelphia area (believe me, I checked), and two of them want someone with lots of experience. Balls. I'd like to take a course on it, so I can put that on my resume and have some samples to show, but I don't want to do it on-line, and I don't want to do it through the mail, and I don't want to get stuck in some expensive certificate program. I want them to have a course at like the Abington Adult School or something. They don't, though, I checked. The don't even have the Creative Writing course I took half of one time. I probably should have stayed in that, but I didn't want to have to read my work out loud to the class every damn week, and I was tired of walking there. Meh. I'll have to look at some of the colleges around here. Not that it matters. I'll change my mind by next week anyway. I really wish I was an accountant. Just run the numbers and get the same result every time, no creative interpretation necessary. *sigh* Current Location: I don't know, I think I'm still dreaming. Current Mood: groggy Current Music: Goldfinger

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January 25th, 2008

11:39 am - Wake me up when it's time for Comet. So I just realized... I'm going to the DMV with my sister tomorrow to take my permit test... At least, I think I am. My ID expired a long time ago and I have to renew it. Hopefully they'll let me take the test anyway, because I'd rather do that, learn how to drive, and then just get my license instead of a new ID. Hmmm... don't I need a doctor's note or something? Eek. I should look into that. Oh no, my doctors' office moved to some place in Jenkintown. Ugh, so complicated. See, this is why it's taken me so long to get my permit again, it's such a massive undertaking. I've gotta get the doctor to fill out the form, dig up forms of ID, fill out the application, get someone to drive me to the DMV, wait in line, pay money... PHWOAR! Guess I'd better call the doctor today. Oh I just know they're going to give me some guff about it. They won't be available today, they won't unless I have a physical, I have to wait eight months until they're available for a physical, blah, blah blah. It just makes me want to take a nap. So, driving... Yeah. I don't know. I don't really want to drive, but Chris has expressed to me on numerous occasions his desire to never have to drive anywhere. Last time I had my permit—eight years ago or something—I drove around the New Life parking lot with my dad and THAT was scary. I can just imagine trying to drive to the city for a show. I'm 24 years old, and that could either be a good thing or a bad thing. It could be good because now I'm mature enough to handle driving without freaking out, or it could be bad because you can't teach an old dog new tricks and I'll never be comfortable behind the wheel. MAN I can't believe I have to learn something else! I'm tired of learning. My brain's hard drive doesn't enough memory to hold all this information. I'm going to have to start deleting stuff. Bye-bye lyrics from 90's rock songs. So long Contra 30-guy code. Peace out phases of the moon and cloud formations. Au revoir le fraincais. My brain could use a defrag. What else? Oh! I got my dad to take us skiing, probably in two weeks. I wish I could be driving before then, I'd take my sisters up on Super Bowl Sunday and probably get free lift tickets. Phwoar again. Um. So I realized why I'm so inspired by Stephen King. He's not embarrassed about anything he writes. He gets deeply personal sometimes and just puts it out there for millions of people to read. I mean, he'll write anything. He cranks out a novel a week, seriously. I used to not want anybody to read my stuff, ever. It's probably because of that time ten years ago when I showed my parents "Five Seconds," and my mom freaked and I was traumatized... Let's not talk about that. One day I realized, I've gotta just go with it; write everything, and if it freaks people out, then, well, I've done my job, haven't I? Plus, my mom freaks about EVERYTHING. She's probably freaking about something right now, like, someone left the shower curtain open in the downstairs bathroom... Bad memories... *shudder* Moving away from the subject of my mom... I'm officially saying No to Carrots. They didn't have any "Yes to Carrots" products in Walgreens, so I have no choice but to abstain from using it until further information is available about whether or not it will clog my pores. Poor us, the sub-culture of acne-prone people. We can't use mainstream products, and we are constantly bombarded with advertisements for self-proclaimed panaceas that never deliver on their promises. We spend our lives scouring shelves and web sites for a cure that doesn't exist, until one day we get old and the acne problem morphs into the wrinkle problem. How depressing. I'm really out of it today. I'm not even sure what I just typed. I think I might have worn this outfit on Monday, but I can't remember that far back. I hope nobody's keeping track. Current Location: Sleepytown, USA Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Fountains of Wayne

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January 24th, 2008

02:04 pm - Martha Quinn was Right Lately I've been thinking about this Neutrogena commercial that was on a lot when I was a kid. In it, Martha Quinn is sitting on a bed, wearing a very early 90's tie-dyed T-shirt, and the first thing she says is "Once, Martha Quinn only wanted two things: A job in rock and roll and CLEAR SKIN." It must have been on a lot back then, because I remember it vividly, as if I just saw it yesterday. I've been thinking about it lately because, you know, if I only got those two things out of life, I'd be very happy too, just like Martha Quinn. Preferably, clear skin would come first. Speaking of clear skin, I finally found a makeup that works on my skin: L'Oreal Ideal Balance QuickStick Foundation. It rules. I can actually wear it all day without it turning funky on me. That says a lot, coming from someone who defines "combination skin." I mean, I've got it all: Oiliness, dryness, sensitivity, paleness, redness, acne, blackheads, and large pores. I'm the poster child for combination skin, and this one actually covers and stays for hours. I'm very impressed. Of course, there was talk on the Internet of it being discontinued. Everything I love gets discontinued. When I ordered my new favorite makeup from Walgreens.com, I got a free sample of this stuff called "Yes to Carrots." I got some night face cream and body butter. I used both last night, and I loved them, and I want to go to Walgreens and buy some more of the face cream, but I can't figure out of it's non-comedogenic or not. I mean, isn't that something you'd want to put prominently on the packaging or the description on the web site? I've scoured the Internet (and everyone knows I'm a pro at finding stuff online), and I couldn't find ANY indication whatsoever of whether or not this stuff would make me break out. Everyone seems to love it, but only one of those people mentioned having acne. She said it didn't make her break out, but one review isn't enough to make me shell out $13 for it. What's more, the company's "contact us" link doesn't even work, and they have no other contact information on their web site. I'm going to Walgreens today to see if the real packaging says anything about it, but if it doesn't, you just lost one potential customer, Yes to Carrots. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I'd have this much trouble choosing skin care products. This weekend I have to go through my "Skin Care Graveyard" again and throw out all the half-used bottles of cleanser, moisturizer, makeup, and acne treatment. Maybe my sister will want it... No, she's probably cursed with the same bad skin that I am. This is what happens when Irish and Italian people have kids together. Thanks, Mom and Dad. So, now Jen Heller Meservey only wants two things. Current Location: 90's Time Warp Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: Phoenix

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January 23rd, 2008

10:01 am - Squandering talents daily from 8:15 to 4:15 There has got to be a better way for Chris and me to make money. I mean, we're both talented people. We shouldn't have to waste our time and energy working at dead end jobs all day. Why is it so hard for talented people to be successful? *sigh* So this morning, I sort of fell asleep sitting up on the floor in the living room. One minute I was in the middle of a Percy love fest, the next I was dreaming again. Percy's loud eating noises woke me up. That's kind of scary. I wonder how long I could have stayed sleeping like that. Yet another way I can be late for work. My mind may say, "I have to get up early and be at work on time and be a responsible adult," but my body will always be against me. I made a resolution this year to concentrate more on writing and music. So first, I finished typing "Danielle's Autopsy Table," and posted that. So far I have four good reviews on Fictionpress. Then yesterday I finally updated my band contacts database and sent out some e-mails. Chris is mailing two snail mail press kits today. We should have more shows in no time. Of course, I'm being more discriminate now, when it comes to booking. I'm not likely to take some random Tuesday at a tiny club in South Philly without good reason. A good reason could be that the place is known to be extremely popular, or another band we like needs an opener, or it's through a company that books for a better venue we'd like to get into, or they're paying us. If it's a weekend at a tiny club in South Philly, OK. I'm mainly looking for big events, like music festivals, fundraisers, sporting events, etc; stuff with a built-in audience. Come to think of it, there was a bowling alley in the suburbs that promised money for two sets, but we didn't have a drummer at the time. I've gotta put them on my list. On the writing front, I'm going to finish this damn "Home by the Sea" story if it's the last thing I do. The new Jen finishes things. I have no idea when or how, but damnit I'm going to finish it. It's a good concept, it's just really complex. It's so involved, it's hard to figure out where it's going next. What's more, I'm afraid this whole long story is almost completely devoid of emotion. I don't read very much and I watch a lot of movies, so I usually write a story as if it's a movie that the reader is watching. Whenever I try to involve emotion, it always comes out sounding forced, because it is. I don't have feelings. This one is different though, because I have a lot of characters, experiencing a lot of emotions. That's why it's taking me so long, because it's so much more complicated than everything else I've written. Usually, I see a little scene unfold in my head like a short film, and I describe what I see. That's been working for me up until now. I'm starting to feel like I'm out of my league here. Ugh, frustration. I ordered Stephen King's On Writing from Booksfree. I don't usually bother with non-fiction, but I thought I could probably use the advice. I was reading a little bit about the book and wow, I've been breaking all his rules. First of all, as I already knew, he thinks thesauruses are bull crap, and I think my thesaurus is my best friend. I mean, that's easy for him to say, he has an amazing vocabulary. I didn't study English in college because I actually wanted to get a job. Second, he's got some kind of problem with adverbs, and I use adverbs like they're going out of style. Again, easy for him to say, the man has a talent for metaphors and similes. My metaphors and similes are always really confusing. Then there was this whole part where he talked about how important it is for writers to read as often as possible. I'm like, reading hurts my eyes. Can't I just see the movie? It kind of discouraged me reading all this, but then I thought, King blows his nose and a bestseller comes out.. maybe he's got something there? So I've decided I'm not "going on a diet," I'm just "eating better." That makes sense, right? I don't have like a diet plan, I'm just buying healthier food and eating less of it. I've also quit taking Advair. It was really effing me up. I think I'll take my chances with the inhaler. I mean, my asthma's probably not going to kill me, but if I keep taking Advair and eating more and more and putting on more and more weight, in the near future a heart attack probably will kill me. Anyway, winter really sucks balls. I'm not enjoying this at all. It's cold, my skin is dry, I'm sick, the train's late all the time in the morning.. I am so ready for spring. Where's this global warming everybody keeps talking about? Current Location: The Grind Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: Fountains of Wayne

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January 21st, 2008

11:19 am - I'm all-around awesome, if I do say so myself. I've probably proofread and edited "Danielle's Autopsy Table," six times now. That's not an easy task, considering it's 5,789 words and I typed it between 10pm and 3:30 in the morning. Someone was even considerate enough to point out that it had a few typos on Fictionpress. Thanks, buddy. At least they still liked it. I know I do. It rules. This one's going up on the fridge... if I have a magnet strong enough to hold it. In other news of my successes, it's 11:24am, and so far I've managed to go all morning on only a can of Slim Fast. It may be because I'm tired and distracted, but I still count it as a win. I just have to make it 36 more minutes until lunch and I'm gold. Then I have to do it every day... from now on. Hm. I was thinking, if I ever manage to lose weight, I should write a book about how I did it. Any book about weight loss or diet plans is automatically a bestseller nowadays. I can make up some kind of diet that involves only eating foods that are orange, or something: Carrots, oranges, Tang, macaroni and cheese, sweet potatoes, that orange craft cheese food... Why not? I can call it, "Orange You Glad You Lost the Weight?" ...OMG!! THAT'S AWESOME!! Jen, you've done it again. Copyright 2008 Jen Heller Meservey. Now I just need some fake scientist to back up my claims that this diet is effective. "According to dietician Dr. J.S. Bledsoe, the beta-carotene that produces the orange pigment naturally stimulates the body's metabolism," or some crap. It's also good for your eyes. That's what my grandmom used to tell me to get me to eat my carrots. Guess what? I'm practically blind now, carrots notwithstanding. Thanks, grandmom. I just love "notwithstanding." It's such a fun word, isn't it? I'm clearly in a good mood today. It's always nice to finish something. I'm like, "Oh yeah! I don't have to work on that anymore! SWEET!" Then there's still "Home by the Sea." *sigh* Soooooo long. It took me over five hours to type up "Danielle's Autopsy Table," I can only imagine how long it will take me to type "Home by the Sea." It's not even finished yet and already I'm dreading it. I've seriously considered paying someone on Craigslist to do it for me. Maybe I can do a barter and make them a web site. I'd rather build a web site than type this story. Wow. I've just realized why I've never written a novel: It takes too long. It's such a massive undertaking. Not only do you have to write the damn thing, then you have to proofread it, over and over again. Dude, I HATE reading. It hurts my eyes. Can you imagine having to read the same book over and over again, and pay attention enough to check for spelling and grammar mistakes? It had better be really really good. I hate massive undertakings. That's why I love short stories, for reading and writing. Short stories aren't appreciated enough. I'm bringing short stories back, ya'll. Here's that link again, if you missed it last time: www.fictionpress.com/s/2465011/1 By the way, Chris read it and didn't get violently ill, so it must not be that disturbing. I love that the emoticon for "accomplished" is writing. :D Current Location: The Orange Mess Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Misfits

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January 20th, 2008

03:22 am - New Story!! Woot! I finally finished typing "Danielle's Autopsy Table," and omg it's long as balls! At 5,789 words, it's definitely my longest story ever (possibly next to "Home by the Sea," which I'm hoping will turn out to be a novel). No wonder it took me four hours to type it. Anyway, it rules, but if you have a weak stomach I would advise against reading it. If you can handle it, though, it's really awesome. Here it is: www.fictionpress.com/s/2465011/1 Wow, I'm up late. Current Location: Endsville Current Mood: creative Current Music: Weezer: Make Believe

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January 18th, 2008

10:51 am - Cheating, exploding chili, doctors, and more. OK I cheated a little today and I got a bagel, but I compromised and only ate half of it. I guess I'll have to eat less gradually. So yesterday I heated up some chili for lunch, and I guess I must have heated it too long, because when I took it out of the microwave it blew up. It splattered all over the microwave, the walls, the floor and me. It covered one side of my glasses, got in my hair, on my sweater, and a few drops landed on my arm and burnt me. I have little red spots on my arm from it now. They blend in nicely with my Nair scars. I was setting appointments today and I realized something: I see a LOT of different doctors. Let's count... Primary Physician (Doctors Grossman) Optometrist Dentist Dermatologist (although "Kevin" isn't really a doctor) "Woman doctor" Podiatrist (also known as Kevin) Is that normal? Why do I have to see so many? They should have like, doctor department stores where you can get everything taken care of in one place. Seriously, it's quite a hassle. Speaking of doctors, one of the ones I set an appointment for today was fake doctor "Kevin," my nurse practitioner dermatologist. When I saw him in November he told me to come back in eight weeks, which would be the end of this month. Two weeks to go and I'm still not seeing any progress on my face. He's got me on three prescriptions and the results are not much better than what Proactiv did when I used that: Dry skin and bleached clothes. Is there hope for my face? Seriously, when three heavy duty prescriptions combined doesn't help, what else can you do? I hope lasers. I want to laser it all off and start afresh. I can afford that, right? Current Location: pew pew Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: Billy Joel

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January 17th, 2008

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08:56 am - Me = Too Fat OK, I definitely need to go on a diet now. My rings are too tight for my finger. Pretty soon they won't fit at all, and I'll have to wear them on a necklace like a pregnant woman. I didn't even think about that as I let my self balloon into a beached whale. Well, not beached whale yet. I don't look hugely fat, it's just that my clothes are all too tight. Actually, I've enjoyed being at a "healthy" weight. I look more normal, instead of being that annoying skinny girl that everybody hates. They do, too. Women hate other women who are skinny... or pretty, or have great tans, or long legs, or manageable hair, or perfect skin... Those b*tches. See? I hate them too. Anyway, I'm "curvy" now, and I gotta say I'm not offended by it. It's just getting out of hand. I don't want to have to buy a whole new wardrobe, add links to my watch and have my rings re-sized. That's a bit much. I've got all junk food with me today, but I'm going to try to start in small ways. Like, I'm finishing this Slim Fast for breakfast, and then I'm NOT going down to the hearth to buy a muffin... or a bagel... or a soft pretzel... Mmmmm... *ahem* And after I finish my lunch, I'm not getting anything out of the vending machines. Hey, this will save me money too! Two birds with one stone. *pats self on back* Those black and white cookies from Starbucks in my lunch bag are the last fatty, sugary thing I'm going to eat for a while. omg I want one right now. So, I diet. Then what? Oh yeah, I should probably exercise. lol I can just imagine the look on Chris's face if he came home from work and found me doing pilates in the living room. What can I do to exercise that won't freak people out? My mom was trying to get me to go swimming with her on Tuesday nights. Hmm. Swimming. Meh. Flashbacks to the mandatory swimming class at Abington High... Oh man, she does swim at the high school too. The chlorine smell, changing in front of people, not being able to see... Do I have any contacts? Do I have any bathing suits that still fit? OK, swimming might be too much trouble. I can't run because I'd probably have an asthma attack and die, especially in this weather. Wow, maybe I should do pilates. What does that entail, exactly? I can see more research is needed. Stay tuned for Jen's Adventures in Exercise. In conclusion, here's my first lolcat ever, featuring Percy... Current Location: 20 extra pounds Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Badly Drawn Boy

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January 16th, 2008

08:36 am - Office XP does NOT work with Vista / Laptops on trains I don't get people who bring their laptop on the train every day. I mean, I paid like $1300 for mine, I'm not about to chill with it on SEPTA where it can get either A. lost, B. stolen, or C. broken. These people could fall asleep on the train and wake up laptop-less. As portable as it is, my laptop stays on my desk 99% of the time. The only time it might ever go somewhere is if I go on vacation. So, for all of you on the Internet who have been saying Office XP works on Windows Vista, you are definitely wrong. It is not compatible with Vista, and I know that not just because of my own frustrating personal experience, but because it's on Microsoft's list of products which are not compatible with Vista. Wow. What a hard time I had trying to install my Office 2003 upgrade. It was like, uninstall free trial of 07, install XP, uninstall XP, try to install 2003, install XP, install 2003. Then on top of that Internet Explorer keeps crashing. Is this why everyone hates Vista? While I was having these problems I felt like I was in a Comcast Digital Voice commercial. "No, see, I had problems before, but now I'm using VISTA." Then the announcer goes, "Your computer problems won't change, they'll just look prettier." Current Location: Microsoft Hell '07 Current Mood: tired Current Music: Bob Dylan

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January 15th, 2008

01:22 pm - What were my resolutions again? / Asthma is making me fat! Asthma is making me fat. It's true, I'm not just making excuses. I found out I have asthma in the summer, and since then I've deliberately avoided physical activity (even more than I used to). On top of that, I've been taking Advair, which is a steroid and has increased my appetite, so I've been eating a ton more than I used to. So combine eating a lot more with exercising even less than usual and you have an additional 15 pounds. Voila. I have no immediate plans to do anything about it. I don't want to exercise because I'm tired and out of breath all the time, and I don't want to eat less because I'm hungry all the time. It looks like I'm going to just keep ballooning for a while. Oh well. So it's time to refresh my memory as to what my new year's resolutions were this year. I guess it can't hurt to re-post them, as this is a completely different journal hosting site since freaking GJ crashed. Here we go... Stick to a diet Finish "Home by the Sea (working title)," and type it up (or pay someone else to type it up) Build a following for the band Clear up my skin BUY SOME NEW CLOTHES ALREADY Go to church more Wow. I'm not off to a very good start, except I did buy a couple new sweaters the other day. Diet, meh. Current Location: Fatville Current Mood: hungry Current Music: Michael Penn

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January 14th, 2008

02:48 pm - Skiing / GJ WTF? So apparently GreatestJournal has been dying for a long time and I had no idea. Go figure. So here I am on InsaneJournal instead. It's basically the same thing, it's just kind of annoying. Oh well. Is it possible for your wrists to get fat? My watch doesn't seem to fit me anymore. Hmm... Anyway, I really want to go skiing right now. I've been bugging my sisters all day to get my dad to take us skiing. I don't know why it just popped into my head. If I had lots of money and a driver's license I'd take us all up to the Poconos right now. Oh well again. I've been spending way too much time on Facebook lately. It's probably not healthy. That's all I got right now. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Beach Boys

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